Oceans, Daughters, Lovers
by BeyondBirthday'sBestie
Summary: Ben, OC; Three of the things Ben could never really comprehend.
1. The People We Love

A/N: So, like...my first LOST story. Weird, right? And so let's all guess who the lovely and talented OC gets to be with...is it A) Jack B) Sawyer or C) Charlie? Well you're all wrong because I choice the lovely and delightful BEN LINUS!!! YAYY FOR SYDNEY! wow. Okay. Lameness about to end. So, I'm really trying here, peps. Because I love ben. So this shouldn't be OOC as terribly as one might think. So just try it out, okay? Pwease? Fank you. I do realize that Jack and Sayid were silent, other than the yelling, during the Ben fight scene, but I'm lazy, so bleh. Oh, and I'm going to make this bold so people don't freak out halfway through: **AMBER IS 24. **So it's not as creepy.

Summary: Three of the things Ben could never really comprehend.

Disclaimer: If I owned Ben, I wouldn't let any of you suckers see him again. MWAHAHAHA!

*clears throat* Let the fanfiction begin!

* * *

_Oceans, Daughters, Lovers_

Ben was a hard man to read. It was hard to get inside of his head (whether you wanted to or not) or even remotely tell what he felt. Sometimes, it was easy to think he had no emotions, no thoughts...

But Ben was the man with a plan. You kind of need thought for that one.

Ben sat, watching the waves crash slowly, rapidly, slowly against the rocky island surface. He sat in the sand, tasting the blood from his split lip over and over. The copper sensation in his mouth was not in the least bit comforting, but at that moment, it was all he had. The sound of the water began to sound like a broken record, and he grew weary of it, quickly. Benjamin closed his eyes, resting his head on his knees. He sat with them pressed to his chest, arms covering them, almost protectively. He had forgotten about the ache in his cheek from where Sawyer had repeatedly pounded, the sudden spark returning. He held in a hiss, settling in his skin. Blood began to trickle from his nose again, but all this physical pain was just a message that he put on hold.

_"You killed your own damn daughter, and you're just going to ignore the fact that that's what you're gonna do to Amber?! You really are insane..." Ben kept clentched fists as the tall blonde man towered over him. _

_ "I am not turning her into a hostage, Ford, I am simply going to have her speak with Richard---"_

_ "Yeah, Mr. Crazy and his band of loyal followers, that oughta go over well. He's gonna know that you sent her, and she's gonna get murdered. You want more blood on your hands, Yoda? Don't you have enough, already?!" Ben's face darkened, his eyes more fierce now as the arguement escalated. _

_ "So we should all listen to you, Sawyer, because you're a saint. Have you forgotten about the man you murdered with your own two hands? Alex's death..." Ben paused, lost in his emotions for a split second, "...was nothing for you to bring up. You have no right to---"_

_ "Oh, on the contrary, Mary freakin' Poppins, I do have the right. What kind of man let's his own daughter die? A coward. Because you're nothin' but one. So don't try to get self rightous with me," Sawyer said, threateningly. His eyes were set, dead-locked onto Ben's. The rest of the group began to catch up with the arguing pair. Amber stood back, watching with Jack and Sayid. She knew that they couldn't be trusted alone..._

_ "Don't I get a say in this?" She called, moving swiftly through the brush and oversized plants. She looked at them both sternly, trying to predict the next move. _

_ "Not really, because if you did, you'd make the wrong decision," Sawyer mumbled, loud enough for Amber to catch a good part of it. He turned back to Ben, ready to start the epic war that was doomed to happen anyway. _

_ "And why should we trust you, anyway? What have you done for us, to even let us remotely have any sorta faith in you? Other than try to kill us on a daily basis," He remarked sarcastically, throwing another glance at Amber, who was now approaching the two. _

_ "Sawyer, this isn't you're decision to make. It's mine," Amber pushed, but was still given nothing but silence. _

_ "Why do you keep treating her like you're her father, James? Is it because you never got to have one? Is it this emotional need to actually treat something with decent, human respect and feel some sort of love in return?" Ben began his mind games, trying to put the trigger to Sawyer's heartstrings. _

_ "Shut the hell up! So what's your deal, huh, Benjamin? Don't you think it's just a little weird to fall in love with someone so much younger than you, someone so much more innocent and different? I wanna take care of her like a parent, but whatever you want from her is __**sick**__. Is it that lack of ever having anyone who liked you? Because from what I understand, not even you're father liked you--" _

_ "James, stop! Quit being an asshole and just let me handle this, okay?!" Amber's voice rose, ten fold, her hand clutching Sawyer's arm. He looked down at her, the ragged look on his face reminding her of what he was capable of. "I trust Ben. He's saved me twice, now, and whatever he thinks is best, I'll do it," _

_ "Hell no, you won't," James shook her grip, turning his back to both of them as he stalked back towards Jack and Sayid. Under his breath, he began to mutter, "'Bet his own daughter didn't even love 'im," _

_ That's when Ben lost it. _

_ He lunged at Sawyer, forcing him to the ground. He threw street fight punches, punctuating each with words of hatred. _

_ "You. Don't. Know. What. It's. Like. To watch. You're daughter. Die at you're own hand," After 'hand', Ben could hear the sound of bone's breaking. He knew that he'd gotten James' nose, and he watched as blood from that area covered his knuckles. Sawyer took his chance as Ben caught his breath, only to lose it again. Sawyer pushed Benjamin's back into the ground as hard as he possibly could, ignoring the fact that Jack, Sayid, and Amber were all pulling at him, screaming for him to stop. _

_ "You. Bastard. You're. Trying. To. Kill. The. One. Good thing. I have left," Ben's face was mauled by Sawyer's fists, blood and fresh cuts all over, decorating it like he was a boxing champion. He layed on the forest floor, taking the hits without struggle, watching the horror in Amber's eyes as he began to lose conciousness..._

"Hey..." Amber plopped herself down into the sand, blood still on her tattered, green tank top from when she carried him back to camp (with the help of Jack and Sayid). She was still willing to smile at him, which was a plus, he reminded himself. How she had slipped from Sawyer's protective grip, he'd never know.

"Hello," he replied quietly, returning his gaze to the waves. They moved delicately now, high tide ending peacefully. Ben could feel Amber's blue eyes burning large, innocent holes in him.

"Here. Sawyer suggests we let you starve and strand you out in the middle of God-Knows-Where, but I snuck you some water anyway," She reached out to him, holding a canteen, "Because I'm awesome," she added cockily. Ben accepted the water, gratefully, holding it and taking pleasure in how cold it felt in his fingers. Amber watched as he pressed it to his lips, the way she could see the pain he felt as the water rushed against his cut lip. The sun was in his bright, icy eyes as he dropped his head, holding the canteen back out to her.

"Ben, I'm sorry about earlier," Amber placed her hand in the sand, drawing pictures with her index finger. First, she drew a circle, and then a triangle. She started to spell out letters, first an A, then an L, and an E X at the end. Ben watched, silently, as he had been mostly the entire time she was near him. Amber bit the inside of her mouth, right beneath her lower lip out of nervous habit.

"You didn't mean to do it..."

Amber could swear she heard Ben's heart break...

"I did, though...I was the one who said I didn't care about Alex. Actions have consequences, and mine was severe. Punishment must suit the crime," his voice was low, a whisper all of it's own. He looked broken on the outside, the dried blood and battered bruises adding to the effect.

"Sawyer knows...he knows that it was something horrible that happened and he was only using it against you because he was upset. He cares about me. He's made it his responsibility to look after me and my well being. He doesn't understand that Alex was you're _daughter_, and that her death was something he could never really quite grasp...I loved Alex too, Ben," Amber's voice trembled against the summer breeze, "She was an amazing woman and she was strong and rebellious. She was your daughter, my friend, and it's not. your. fault," Her head fell, eyes glued on her sand drawings. She made more letters and words, some like 'SORRY' or 'BENJAMIN' or 'LOVED'. She wrote 'I TRUST YOU' with a piece of driftwood that had settled by her feet as the waves came near her toes. Ben watched, still silent. He did everything he could to stop himself from screaming or crying or just breaking down. Instead, he turned his head, cautiously watching for any of the Oceanic 815 members who might strangle him, and leaned his head on her shoulder as softly as he could. Amber smiled gently, removing her finger from the sand so she could set her hand on Ben's now relaxed knee.

"I see her everywhere, Amber..."

"I know..."

"I watched her die. I relive that every time I dream," Amber recalled the many nights that Ben woke up, either in a cold sweat or screaming. She soothingly made circles with her thumb against his leg.

"I watched too. It's not something you could ever forget. But you have to remember, she died loving you. I know she did. She told me that. Hours before it ever happened. She told me that you taught her how to be strong..." Ben sunk his teeth into the fragile and still-fresh cut on his lip, letting it bleed once more.

"Ben, right now, I don't care what happens with Richard and the others. All I care about is knowing that you understand that..." Amber reached out, gingerly holding the driftwood. She placed it into the sand, and spelled out the words, 'I LOVE YOU'. Ben looked from the letters and up at Amber. He could see the tears in her eyes as she leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"If we were brought to this island for a reason, that reason is you," She whispered as the waves slowly trickled up to their ankles, washing away all the forgotten words that they traced in the sand...

And the sun began to set, the first star appearing in the sky resembling Alex...

* * *

If you want me to continue it, you have to REVIEW, children! If not, I'll just leave it like this. So you'll never know what happens with Richard and Amber. MWAHAHAHA!


	2. The Choices We Make

A/N: You asked for it. Back by popular demand! w00t w00t! Alrighty, I just wanna go over a few things:

SPOILER FOR 6x07, "Dr. Linus"

Amber is 24. How many times will I tell you people? Not enough, that's for sho.

Ben is a pimp. It's just...I can't even begin to explain it.

Alright, so we also know that Richard is pretty awesome, right? Good. Because I'm not hatin' on Mr. Crazy and his posse of followers. The Richard scene will be a flashback, and current events are past John's death. So....yeah. There we go, children. (If Richard is OOC, it's not my fault. I can never tell exactly what his character is...)

Disclaimer: I LOVE BEN IN A SWEATER VEST!!!! :)

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_Oceans, Daughters, Lovers_

_Richard Alpert began his day off right, like any other normal human being: He was held at gun point, face-down in the milky-white sand that lined the God-forsaken beaches of Jacob's precious island..._

_ Of course, Richard Alpert was no normal man. _

_ Amber smiled cunningly at her captive. From the position of the Sun, she assumed it was barely 5:30 a.m. The horizon was glowing with pinks and reds that simmered on the ocean waters, creating this natural glitter that almost captured Amber's train of thought. _

_ "Hey, hey, Richard," The younger girl saluted to the man on the ground, keeping one hand firmly on the handle of her long, narrow riffle. Richard coughed out a small laugh, sounding rather strained at the moment. _

_ "Good morning, Amber," Richard replied, his voice wavering. He turned his head against the sand, his glance going over his shoulders and to Amber's face. He could see the smirk vividly, the one that let you know you were in for trouble. _

_ "Hey! Step away from him!" A tall, light-haired man called, pointing a similar riffle towards the two. Amber sighed, annoyance lightly hinted in her tone. Quickly, she pressed the barrel against a patch of dark hair on Richard's head, and then turned his head to glare at the yelling man. She looked rather bored. _

_ "Mmhm. Yeah. Guess who's got the gun pointed at your leader? Oh. That would be me," She yawned a bit for affect, mentally agreeing with Sawyer when he told her she was built overly dramatic. The man's face flushed, a look of embarrasement washed over him when he realized that she was in total control. Amber smiled sweetly, lifted the barrel a few inches. _

_ "So, Richard. Had any talks with Jacob lately? Has he done anything but lead us in circles?" She spat, shifting her weight to her left foot. She felt the sun start to rise higher and higher into the sky, beams of it's light scattered among the grains, causing a heat to become noticable in her toes. It was times like this when she thought about Charlie, about the early mornings when he'd sit alongside Claire by the waterside, strumming the strings of his guitar quietly like a lullaby. 'He was my best friend...' _

_ "You seem distracted, Amber. You'd better be careful, or that gun's going to end up in my hands," Richard's voice was low against the ground, but Amber took his words of advice and clutched the gun tighter. _

_ "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Richard. You know that I could kill you with one hand tied behind my back," Her teeth were clentched tight, and her grip on the riffle became white-knuckled. _

_ "Are you still upset that Jacob didn't think you were special enough? It's not that he plays favorites, he just knows who is going to be a better protector of the island---" Before Richard could finish, he felt a blow to his jaw that made his head spin. Amber had swung her riffle, aiming it right at his mouth, and had hit her target with a satisfying 'crack'. She could almost smell the blood that began to seep from his mouth and nose. Richard blinked his eyes, making them wide, and tried to move his mouth in different directions. The pain was seering, and made his entire mind feel foggy and soupy. His breathing came out in hisses. _

_ "Willing to finish that?" Richard spat his blood into the sand. _

_ "Not really, no. But thank you," He muttered sarcastically. Amber poked his back with the barrel. _

_ "Hey. Turn over. I wanna talk to you, face-to-face," She said forcefully. With little ease, the older man began to flip himself onto his back, propping himself up on his elbows. He looked up, seeing the merciless look fiery on the younger woman's eyes. _

_ "That's a good boy,"_

* * *

"Hm. You're pretty good at digging," Amber commented, sitting pretty on top a recent pile of rocky dirt that Ben had dug up. She looked over towards the woman holding Ben captive, watching her stalk and storm the beach, "I took you more for the 'scrapbooking' type," Ben looked up from the gaping hole in the ground her stood in, looking at her as if she was crazy.

"So you're going to just sit there and patronize me?" He didn't sound angry, more surprised and shocked. Amber tilted her head to one side, her tangled waves of hair tilting with her.

"Um...yeah? What, do you want me to help you dig? ..." Gracefully, she hopped down from her thrown at top the pile and brushed her hopelessly-dirty-blood-stained shirt.

"Amber, I could really use a hand here. If you haven't noticed, that crazed woman over there seems to find this fitting revenge for killing Jacob," Ben threw more wet soil over his shoulder, a look of fear linguring in his eyes. Amber whistled, sitting on the edge of the large grave.

"Man, we're aiming high, aren't we? Killing Jacob...wow. And where would she get this idea?" Ben stopped, leaning on the bamboo shovel. He leveled his eyes with hers, blue on blue. Both of them could feel the sudden electricity between them, sparks that caught fire and ignited; and Amber almost felt her heart sink.

"I killed Jacob," Ben stated seriously.

"Oh...well...that's awesome..."

"What other choice did I have, exactly?"

"Well, usually, people are born with this natural sense of right and wrong. Let's just create an example. Okay, right: not killing Jacob. Wrong: killing Jacob," Amber growled angrily, knowing that this completely compromised her plans. She needed to get back to "John".

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child. I did what I had to," This wasn't a command, but a request. Ben seemed to lose interest in spatting with the younger woman.

"Well, would you like me to go over and have a chat with Holly Homicide or something?" Ben shook his head, continuing his digging as if his life depended on it...

Oh wait. It did.

"No. What I want you to do come up with a better plan than sit here and chat,"

"Mmm...that sounds like it's going to involve some hands on kinda stuff," Amber grazed her finger tips against her nails. Ben sighed.

"Okay, then. Since I'm likely to die in the next hour or so, there is something I would like to ask you," Amber swung her legs playfully, looking extremely youthful and young.

"Sure. Ask away," She gave him a secret smile, the kind of smile the she only shared with him in their most private moments. Ben paused, as if contemplating his next words like a script in his head.

"Amber...why were you in Sydney?" Ben lifted his eyes from the ground, taking in the look of her sea-washed hair in the mid-day sun. A breeze rolled by, and dark clouds began to dampen Ben's spirit.

"I'm...well, I was an amateur boxer. I've been training since I was 16. I was heading to a tournament in Brisbane, but the roundtrip was canceled. I speculate it was Jacob's doing, somehow or another. So I got to Sydney and heard the news that my opponent had been found dead in her apartment the night before. Overdosed on heroin. Every time I think about that day, I think about Charlie..." Amber stopped, feeling her throat become like a clogged drain pipe. She couldn't keep bringing him back into her thoughts, because if their was one thing Amber didn't like doing, it was crying in front of all these people who thought of her so highly. She laughed it off, as if it was an awkward silence.

"So, I tried to get back to Detroit...but of course, why would that happen? I just had to be a candidate, right?" Ben was grinning, another small pleasure they only shared with one another.

"A boxer, huh? I took you for more of the 'free-spirited woman' type. A feminist, if you will," Amber rolled her eyes, pushing up off her calves and walked a good two feet towards a small pile of mangos she had placed on a sweatshirt in the sand. She retrieved two, glancing over her shoulder out of sheer paranoia, noticing that Ilana was distracted with talking to Sun. Once more, the blonde plopped herself down on the edge of the grave, tearing her teeth into the sweet fruit. She watched, almost sadly, as Ben continued to get closer and closer to the six foot marker. She bit her lip, feeling all the scabs and cuts that hadn't healed over from her 'fighting for my life' death matches on the island. Amber felt removed from the moment, as if she was somewhere completely different. This wasn't her life; it was the life of some beautiful, new-comer actress who could play the rugged, yet charming Amber DeJess. The blonde and energetic young woman who falls head-over-heels for the devious, cunning, and brilliant Benjamin Linus who isn't her perfect match, but they're opposites who attract. It felt like this movie that started out wonderfully, filled with action and romance, but ends tragically; where the hero always drowns...

"Ben? I think I'd be willing to go and cut the line, if you want," Amber nodded her head toward the long cord that connected Ben to the old radio tower on the beach.

"But...you can't be serious. You don't think I'm going to just let you stay here and get shot and murdered for something I did wrong. You should just go, Amber. I'm not really worth saving," Ben began to sound a bit proud near the end, but Amber could have easily been mistaking it for something else. Maybe fear...

"Yeah, but...I'd honestly take a bullet for you," Her fingers danced in the sand. Ben stopped.

"...why?"

"...because you seem like your worth saving to me. You may not know it, Ben, but you're honestly brilliant. How could I lose a guy like you? I might need you in a few hours, anyway. Even if I'm not around to carry out that plan," Amber reached for her boot, pulling out a small silver knife that Sawyer had given to Amber a few weeks after they had crashed. Ben failed to put on a happy face for her. He couldn't smile after what she had just told him; 'You seem like your worth saving to me,'. How could she even remotely believe that?! Had she not seen the people's lives he'd ruined, or how he'd second-handedly killed his own daughter? He felt wrong for letting himself feel something for her. Something that he shouldn't feel for someone he doesn't belong with...

"Amber, I don't think you understand. You're not doing this out of love; you're doing this out of desperation. You think you need me. You think you love me. Either way, it's all impossible," Amber chucked the second mango directly at Ben's head, making contact on the left side.

"Don't say that. I do love you, you moron. If I was really that desperate, I'd be running through that freaking jungle, screaming something stupid, like, 'Where are you, Jack?!'. That'd be desperate. I'm not just your friend with benefits, Benjamin. I'm your _lover. _I know it's weird to say that, but it's true. So just get used to it already. I'm gonna do this. So just suck it," She threw over her shoulder as she strode the the cord, looking absolutely fearless.

And she had, as always, left Ben starring and dumbstruck.

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AH-HA! So you kiddies do read my stories! Well, if you want an epic conclusion to this story, where we finally find out the Richard situation, and the Ben situation, review. And maybe I'll concider it. Because I'm a freaking NICE PERSON.


	3. The Things We Need

A/N: Anyone excited about the Richard centric episode...? Yeah, my mum is. Creepy, right? Yup. But who cares? No one imparticular. Other than me. Yup. w00t. WE NEED MORE BEN.

I really need to find some beautiful songs, acoustic style by pimp bands. Find me some, my minions. Oh, and no Owl City, or Miley, or something stupid. More like, NeverShoutNever or Dot Dot Curve :)

Disclaimer: Haven't we been here already? Goodness, children.

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_Oceans, Daughters, Lovers_

_Amber stopped, abruptly, out-of-breath. She placed her worn fists on her hips, doubling over in pain. Her breath was ragged and sweat trickled from her forehead down to the crook of her neck. The air around her was now warm and sticky from the previous workout. Every part of her was screaming from the torture of the ache in her muscles. Amber grit her teeth, breathing in and out through her nose. She had felt this kind of agony before, and was used to the unbearibility of it. She lifted her gloved fists up to the back of her head, a burst of air errupting from her mouth. The large heavy bag in front of her swung lazily from it's chain connected to the ceiling. Amber was alone in the large gym, her grunts and groans the only noises to be heard. _

_ "You're getting so much better..." From the shadows, a voice called out to Amber, and the man whom the voice belonged to stepped into the light. _

_ "Who the hell are you?" Amber spat, obviously holding her ground. The man could see the way her shoulders tensed and her voice was tight. The blonde man smiled, taking a few more steps closer. _

_ "That's a very broad statement, Amber. What is it you really want to know? My name? My reason for being here? How I know your name?" Amber noticed how much taller the man was than she, making her feel, rather suddenly, inferior. _

_ That was something Amber couldn't stand. _

_ "I'd like to know all three, if you don't mind," She replied, removing her hand from the glove that she had been wearing. It was old and worn, the paint chipped and the leather beneath showing. It looked almost antique..._

_ "Well...my name is Jacob. I'm here because of you. You have something very special...I've known you since you were a little girl. I've watched you grow, and now I see exactly what I was hoping I'd see in you. You're very strong; outgoing, protective, and young. You could be my replacement..." Jacob smiled, now only a foot away from the sweat-drenched girl who seemed dumbfounded by his words. _

_ "Okay, so you're pretty much some creep who thinks I have something 'special'? Do other girls fall for this shit or what?" The blonde crossed her arms defensively, her glare penetrating the gaze of Jacob. She looked fierce, but not fierce enough to take him down if she needed to (which meant worst-came-to-worst). _

_ "Amber, please, lower the hostility. Don't you realize you have something special...a talent or a gift that can be used for something great? No one has ever told you that you were special, have they?" Amber felt her heart tug for a moment, regretting even trying to think of a time where anyone has ever told her something remotely positive about herself. She mentally made a note of the way 'Jacob' enjoyed toying with her feelings. _

_ "What's your point?" She hissed back at him. Over his shoulder, she could see the buildings as they cast a shadow over the city. The sun was setting, dipping below the horizon, and the shapes and shadows of the world could be seen more vividly..._

_ "You have a beautiful imagination," Jacob nearly whispered, "and an intellegent mind...put that to good use, Amber. I'll be seeing you soon. Good luck at the fight. Watch that left hook of yours," Amber felt as if he had captured her with his voice and once he had exited the room, a part of her was missing. She felt like a tower with a missing beam; ready to collapse. She was confused and tired and still linguring on the same subject: _

_ Am I really special?_

* * *

"And then this morning, I asked myself, 'Self, could it possibly get any stickier and hotter out in the jungle today?' and then God replied, 'Why, yes, Amber, it could. I'll make it happen, pronto,' so I'm pretty much S.O.L," Tearing her way through brush and bushes, Amber shredded every living plant with her battered machete. Sweat trickled down her face and back like raindrops. The blonde had nearly forgotten that Ben had been trailing behind her the entire time she had blabbered on and complained. Coming nearly face-to-face with a palm tree, Amber sighed and proceeded to set herself down at the base of it. Long ringlets of sweaty hair landed on her shoulders, her breath ragged. The older man had finally caught up, a small smile playing on his lips. He reached for his side and held out the canteen of water to the small woman.

"I suppose complaining is a tiring job," He quipped, watching as she twisted the cap from the small container. Amber rolled her eyes, letting the water makes its way into her body.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, seriously. The day we trek across the entire island, it ends up being 98 degrees? Just a coincidence, is it? No. I blame Hades, God of the Underworld for this..." The blonde nearly laughed to herself, enjoying her reference to Greek mythology. Ben sat down next to her, confusing linguring in his blue eyes.

"And why, exactly, did we choose Hades, God of the Underworld, as our excuse?"

"Um...because he's evil? Duh. What kind of person just takes a woman and forces them to be with him? It's just...I dunno. But, he's sorta like the Satan of Greek Mythology, so..." It was obvious that Amber had not learned of Ben's love interest in Juliet, the woman he told was his, very posessively. Ben had flinched while she was speaking, but let it fade away for the sake of his sanity. The heat could get to him if he let it...

"Bright as always," Nearly silently, Ben muttered to himself. The blonde handed the canteen back to the older man, giving him time to drink up the last portion of the water. A salty, ocean breeze tumbled through the trees, hitting the sweat beads on Amber's face. A sudden chill coursed through her body, causing her to smile nervously.

"So...is it okay to tell you that I'm pretty much terrified?" Her voice carried with the wind as she whispered. Ben let his gaze fall on her, blue meeting blue head-on. He took the chance to study her face, the signs of fear plastered to her face. He hesitated, letting the question sink in.

"...I suppose I'd be terrified, too, if I was looking in the face of death itself," Ben began, leaning his head against the tree for support, "But Amber, you have to remember this; you are the only one on this entire island who can kill him," The sternness of Ben's voice caught Amber by surprise. This had to be something he truely believed in for him to be supporting Jacob's orders.

"Ben, what I am supposed to do? I can't look into his eyes and think of this...evil person! All I see is John Locke, the man who has saved me and countless others out of the kindness of his heart! All I can see is the man who has kept Sawyer calm and kept me out of harms way. He was a rebel and a believer and he was like a grandfather to me! Everyone from the Oceanic flight feels like family to me! When you've never had a real, true family to begin with...when no one has ever told you that they were proud of you, or that you were 'special', you start to _try_ to find a replacement for all those wasted childhood years," Amber was on the verge of tears as she broke down there in the jungle, yelling with passion, "I've never killed anyone in my life, and I'm expected to just...just...stab him?! What the hell am I supposed to do, Ben?! I can't do that...he...he...why, Ben? Why did you have to kill him?!?" The sudden outburst nearly shattered Ben. Never had he expected her to bring up that night...it pained him to remember strangling one of the most brilliant and bravest men he had ever known. But it had to be done.

"Amber..." Ben placed a gentle hand on her cheek, turning himself to face her, "You know that I did what I had to. It was something that had to be done, and it was the only way to get him back on the island--"

"BUT HE NEVER WANTED TO COME BACK IN THE FIRST PLACE," Amber raised her voice, trying to break away from Ben's touch, "AND NEITHER DID I! But you just had to get us all to come back! Why couldn't we just stay? Why couldn't we just keep things the way they were supposed to be? Ben, I wanted to just stay at home..." As her voice faultered and cracked near the end, the older man had pulled her into his chest. He ran his fingers through her stringy blonde hair, kissing the top of her skull. He could feel her breath hitch when he rested his hand on the small of her back.

"I'm sorry," He whispered into her ear, softly kissing her cheek, "I never wanted you to get caught up in this mess...but I promise you I'll make it all okay," Amber gazed up at the only man she had ever loved and pressed her lips to his, holding his sides as her moved her so her back was against the tree. Slowly, both became more passionate and loving, hands silently moving themselves and lips quietly sharing their love. Amber let warm tears slide down her ivory cheeks, falling more rapidly with each kiss. Holding back sobs, the younger began to clutch onto Ben for stability. Sweetly, Ben continued to whisper "It's okay," punctuating each with a kiss.

Somehow, time seemed to end in that moment. The crushing weight of knowing that she was going to have to kill the man she looked up to made Amber nearly sick to her stomach. The only comfort she ever had was in those few minutes (that felt like days) where Ben had loved her and held her as if his life depended on it. Beyond the comfort, she finally knew that she was special to at least a select few...

The gift she possessed was greater than anyone would ever had expected. Of course, the blood that would soon stain her hands would be something permanent. Memories of Sawyer and Alex and her life away from the island flashed in her mind, and the last one made her smile...

Ben.

* * *

Okay, this could possibly be the last chapter. I'm not quite sure. If you'd like one last chapter, just send me a message or say it in a review. I know this wasn't the best chapter, but hey. Ben Lovin. What more can you ask for?


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